I usually title my Friday posts “Friday Gratitude” but in all honesty, I’m not feeling super grateful this week. I’ve been dealing with a safety issue at my site (nothing to do with my host family). Our Peace Corps safety and security manager came out to visit me this week. I thought about writing about the situation, but it would just be a long, ranting post and nobody wants to read that. But it has really been bumming me out. Not that there’s ever a time I welcome stress, but I had hoped the last few months of my service would be smooth sailing.
I leave for Ireland in a week and I am looking forward to a longer break from life here in Kosovo. When I get back, I’ll have roughly 12 weeks left of service. Not gonna lie — time has been dragging lately. I’ve tried to re-frame it as only 12 more weekends left to spend time with my friends here, and that does help shift the perspective a bit.
My creativity has been latent lately, too. I haven’t had the urge to crochet or write creatively much at all. Instead of getting down on myself about it, I’m just accepting it for what it is. Perhaps my vacation and a change of scenery will act as a catalyst to restart my left brain.
An exercise I like to do is to check in with the “Peace Corps Chart of Emotions” from time to time. According to the chart, which I find to be pretty accurate, this is how I should expect to feel:
- Fright (I’ve been frightened at my site lately … does that count?)
- Confusion (Not really …)
- Alienation (At times, yes. I had heard that during the second year of PC service, people become busier and spend less time with their cohort. I have definitely found this to be true of myself and my friends.)
- Anxiety (Oh, yes!)
- Panic (Kind of an extreme emotion … I’d say no? But maybe that’ll come?)
- Giddiness (When I think of going home, YES)
- Impatience (When am I getting out of here?)
- Obsession with planning and scheduling (Hahahaha, yes! [Sierra, I am looking at you, too!])
So, that’s where I’m at. How are all of you?
Media consumption this week …
- I read Moon Called by Patricia Briggs upon the recommendation of another volunteer. I’ve been reading a lot of nonfiction lately and wanted something lighter to read (this book is all about werewolves and shape shifters). It was okay but I probably won’t read more of the series.
- I’ve started re-watched Top of the Lake, which I had watched shortly before moving to Kosovo. It’s a strange but compelling series and if you are looking for something to binge, I highly recommend it.
Thanks for listening. Have a good weekend, and I will talk to you on Monday.